Things to Think about

Spoke with Annie today. I was pretty discouraged after our conversation. It wasn't her fault in the least. She just was honest with me and gave me a great deal to think about. I have spent a ton of time cleaning closets today. I am trying very hard to get organized here in the house. Jack's birthday is tomorrow. I cannot believe he is going to be six years old! It is so unreal that our children are growing so fast. Jack's story is a fun one. If you don't know, we thought Jack was a girl for 6 months of our pregnancy. His name was going to be Raylin Jae. The day before we scheduled the C-section our doctor did another ultra-sound to check if everything was developed well and he informed us that Raylin was a JACK. For about 12 hours it was very distressing. We had nothing but girl clothes and were not prepared for a little man. A very distant part of me was disappointed that our dream of having one of each was now not happening. After Jack got here all of those feelings left! He was precious and such an easy baby. He never cried, never fussed, slept all night and was a dream! We had already decided that we weren't going to have any more children. I had my tubes tied. Jason had extreme fears of me being pregnant again because of all the difficulties I had during both of my pregnancies. So together we decided that it would be best for me not to have anymore children. I wouldn't suggest it to any woman. I think part of me feels like I am not a contributing woman any longer. Silly, I know, but before, if we wanted to have another baby we tried. I don't have that option any longer and that does put an emotional mark on you. So if you are considering it, do your research, be prepared and make sure it is 100% what you really want. Also, it seems to have messed with my hormones as well. I have a difficult time and didn't have these problems until I had my tubal ligation. ANYWAY, Back to Jack. He is an amazing child, smart as a whip, stubborn as a mule, funny, and such a happy little guy. He is always singing or humming a tune. He looks up to his big brother and wants to play with him all of the time... yet he can play on his own too and be totally content. He is very mechanically inclined and is always trying to figure out what makes things tick. He amazes me daily. So, in an hour my five year old will be six. Happy Birthday my sweet boy. Mommy and Daddy love you and are very proud of you!